Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "Cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of Cybersex. Then again, maybe he does....
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a
miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm
toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What
do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear
glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I
just bought from Wal-Mart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt
with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner.
It's smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you! Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music
playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and
night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling.
My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins
to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your
chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands
are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding
it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The
cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your
bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung: My hands suddenly jerks spastically and
accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy
black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as
I breath harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I
think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly...I'm
reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my
body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are
erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra
and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want
to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your,
you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair.
Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered
with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with
the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you.
I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and
rubbing you hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are
cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take of my
panties!
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is
going all over, in and out nibbling on you... ummm...
wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat.
I'm choking!
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit! I'm turning all
red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly.
I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup.
Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's
better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back
in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the
bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the
bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the
hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I
want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you
passionately our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my
face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them.
I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me,
baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly
across the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover!
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm
feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the
flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your
laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the
bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you
know...thing...in your... you know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so
nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little
trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning.
I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me
now!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around, an
incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my
wiener is all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and
see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm
putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet
nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find
the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser,
knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and
your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting
on my shoes.
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on.
My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The
curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look
on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell! I'm logging off, you loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh nooooo!
Sweetheart: Bye!!! | 
